21st Century Parenting Dillema

I think it’s safe to assume that most of us realize the world was a far different place when our parents were growing up. It’s obviously different than it is now, but I’d say it was quite different than when we were kids too.

Being a teenager is hard no matter the era, but each era presents something new. Being a teen in the 50s was a bit different than being a teen in the 80s. And being a teen in the 21st century is a lot different than both.

The internet alone changes things drastically.

Years ago, when sending their child to a sleepover, the worst thing a parent worried about was if the parents were responsible parents and -maybe- whether or not they had a gun in the home. Even then that wasn’t a worry for every parent…

sunday-half-past-ten-a-m-1215934-mNow, before sending a child off to a sleepover, you have to consider whether or not the parents are responsible, if they keep a gun in their home, how secure their wi-fi connection is and whether or not they have a block for pornographic sites, etc. Of course you don’t have to, your choice – but there’s something all should consider…

What if your child’s friend is gay?

See the dilemma?

The dilemma is two fold.

Dilemma #1

Your child is gay, but you’re not aware of it.

I stumbled upon an internet thread where I read a comment by a teen girl who said that her parents didn’t know that her best girl friend is her lover. She went on to say that they’d have sleepovers and their parents had no idea they were engaging in sex at night.

That hit me like a ton of bricks.

I wouldn’t allow my straight son/daughter to have their girlfriend/boyfriend spend the night. I wouldn’t let my gay son/daughter to have their girlfriend/boyfriend spend the night either. But how are you supposed to know? Sometimes you can probably surmise they are, but not always…

Dilemma #2:

Your child is not gay, but their friend is – and you know it. (Your child may not)

Do  you allow the sleepover? It’s a dangerous line to walk. Just because the child is gay doesn’t mean they’re attracted to your child and not allowing the sleepover could open a can of worms.

If you allow the sleepover is the friend going to make a move? You’re thinking if their friend isn’t gay they won’t make a move, right? I disagree. Not saying it would happen, but it could. The friend may not even know they’re gay, but I’m not going to be the one to put them in a situation to find out. Or what if the friend has homosexual tendencies, but knows it’s wrong and is suppressing them? It wouldn’t be right to put him or my son in such a position.

I don’t know… Perhaps I’m over thinking it, but if your son’s friend was Liberace would you allow him to go to a sleepover?


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Posted in Faith, Spirituality, Just Sayin', Kids and Parenting, My Thoughts On...
  • Alyssa McVey

    We don’t allow sleepovers with anyone but cousins. That doesn’t completely eliminate risks, but I know the parents well, I know their morals, habits, and rules, and I’m not afraid to ask questions if I have a problem. Our kids are still young, but we might end up nixing sleepovers altogether eventually.


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